Like Tiger Woods at a Perkins, I Couldn't Control Myself

by: nate

I had it all planned out. As co-creator and co-writer of this blog, I had it in my mind that we would fire things off with a nice, wholesome, feel-good introduction that lavishly portrayed what wonderful people we are and how we hoped to create an entertaining blog for all the world to enjoy. But it didn’t happen. As usual, real life has gotten in the way. In fact, the whole idea is somewhat counterproductive to why I wanted to create this site in the first place. The plan was to create a place where I could start a thought, elaborate, and if time permitted, maybe even finish that thought. Having a formal introduction would make it just that: too formal.

And Besides, there’s way too much going on in sports right now for me to sepnd time trying to create some witty way to commence this site. So let’s just get to it then.

In the news this week:

Five Kentucky players enter the NBA Draft. Kentucky 's John Wall, DeMarcus Cousins, Eric Bledsoe, Daniel Orton and Patrick Patterson will enter their names in this year's NBA Draft. Four of them are freshmen. How do you build on that next year? If you’re John Caliparri, you don’t. You take the Nets job and call it all a success. You know that was the whole point of taking the Kentucky job, right? He wanted a chance to showcase himself so that he would be in the spotlight when inevitable firing and hiring of NBA coaches started. Now he’ll get to be the savior for a failing club with a ton of cap space going into one of the biggest free agent off-seasons ever.

Tiki Barber leaves his wife for his intern. Just wait, it gets better: his wife is 8 months pregnant. Yes, Maury, Tiki is the father. I’m no gynecologist, but if I recall correctly, the typical human gestation period is only nine months; meaning she’s due to pop in about 30 days, while he’s running off with a 23 year old. If history truly repeats itself, we can expect the jilted Mrs. Barber to now win the Superbowl. That seems to happen when Tiki leaves.

UConn’s women’s team wins the NCAA title. Let’s face it folks, its Connecticut and everyone else at this point. 12 points in the first half and they pull off the win? Women’s ball is in a sad state right now and Geno’s taking full advantage. You know he took that trophy home, threw a wig on it and calls it “Pat.”

Tiger Woods has a new commercial. Have you seen this? Tiger uses audio of his long-passed father (clearly used out of context) in order to show that his father is chastising, yet forgiving him. Afeni Shakur and Sean Combs think this reprehensible. Dude needs to move golf merchandise and feels that he still needs to clean up his image, so he brings out footage of his dead father so that we’ll feel sorry for him? Let’s not forget that Nike logos are in plain sight through the whole ad, reminding us of the real purpose behind it all. But it will work. People will eat it up. And don’t expect this to be the only one. They’ll have a whole series of them building up to his eventual return and thus showing our true nature of fickleness cleverly disguised as forgiveness. I think it’s all unnecessary. A guy can only apologize so much. Just go play golf and get on with your life. We don’t need to see this.